Isn’t it funny?

So, I’m one of those girls who hasn’t done anything…ever. (Well, a little bit… :P)

It’s probably a mixture of parents, religion (what little bit there is), the fact that none of the guys I’ve gone for like me back (right away, anyway), shyness, and fear…

And yet, I’m one of those girls who just wants to get married already. I want to settle down with someone. I want my own home and a car and kids. I want to grow old with someone special.

You’d think I’d just want to date around for a while, test the waters, and see what I want in a future hubby first…but no.

It’s taken me years to get it through my head that, while people do care and talk and whatever, they will do those things anyway. I should just give it a try and if people talk…let them talk. Who cares anymore? It’s my life.

Well, I have yet to actually be in a relationship…and I’m super stoked for the day it decides to come!

People talk…so let them.

“Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you have yourself cursed others.” ~ Ecclesiastes 7:21-22

Let them talk about you. Who cares? Who seriously gives a shit what others think of you? You shouldn’t…that’s for damn certain. You shouldn’t let others phase you…phase you into not doing what you want to do…what you heart wants to do.

If people talk, they’re jealous. They want what you have and they realize that there’s nothing they can do to achieve what you have, so they talk. They spread rumors. They ask questions and put you in the spotlight. You know what? I say, “screw them!”

You’ve got it!

So flaunt it!

Well, not so much that you seem self-centered and obnoxious…but you’ve got it for a reason…whatever it is.

If you can sing, sing. If you can dance, dance. If you can talk your way out of situations, talk. If you can save lives, save. If you can donate money, donate. If you can cook, cook. If you can listen, listen. If you can give advice, advise. If you can take risks, risk. If you can love, love.

Do not take to heart all that others say about you. They are just trying to get you down and trying to fill your mind with doubt so that you do not succeed.

Well, you know what?

Do it anyway.

Prove them wrong.

Umm, I’ll take MOTIVATION for $1000…

Dear Motivation,

WTF? Where have you gone? Can I please get you back now? Why have you left me at such a bad time? You do realize that I have 3 more weeks of classes…and then FINALS!!! Can you please arrive sometime after St. Patty’s Day? ‘Cause then I won’t feel bad since I’ll have a week to do nothing productive whatsoever… But, honestly, please come back to me. I miss you…

Love,

Rachelle

Be proud of yourself!

Sometimes I just have to keep reminding myself to be proud of what I’ve accomplished and to be amazed at how far I’ve come.

Believe it or not, there was once a time when singing was actually quite difficult for me. I must say that I attribute (did I use this word correctly?) most of my ableness to sing to Michelle Branch and Celine Dion and Mariah Carey. Without their music, I wouldn’t be the singer I am today. I took Michelle’s lyrics, Celine’s powerhouse voice, and Mariah’s range and combined it into the voice I have today. They were literally my music idols in elementary school! Weird, right? They are so different and so unique in their own ways…well, I guess that also pretty much created the voice I have and use today.

Then, high school choir developed my soprano range…first soprano…damn. College came around, and, “oh, look!”, I now have a strong alto range! Such transitions from singing pop to musicals to choral pieces – and even from singing all right with my head voice to only my chest voice and back to my head voice (and even discovering my head-chest voice) – were super fun and interesting. Who knew I could sing alto? Who knew I could sing soprano?! The transformation of my voice has been so amazing to experience and discover!

All I need to work on now is finding my vibrato in my higher range. I have faith that that day will come very soon.

I guess dancing comes next! It’s so fantastic reminiscing on my old ballet days. How ballet blossomed into jazz and then made way for tap…and, from there, almost every other kind of dance moved through my body… I’ve taken modern, Argentine tango, ballroom, salsa, cha cha, a little bit of hip hop, west coast swing, and I’ve finally settled my heart on east coast swing dancing and lindy hop. With my ballet history (and jazz and tap too!), swing dancing was made possible! It’s now, more than ever, easier to pick up combinations and routines and I credit all of my dance history. Sometimes people come up to me and ask how I pick up steps so quickly and how I am able to improv and dance so smoothly…”you just have to go out and dance every other kind of dance!” is what I usually say…it’s true!

Another thing about swing dancing is that, without swing dancing, I never would’ve been as comfortable talking to other people as I am now. I used to be quite the introvert and I’ve definitely come a long way from there… I’m not as nervous talking to people I know nothing about…because you do that when social swing dancing. You just have random conversations with random people when you aren’t dancing. It’s great! I don’t feel as awkward now! Yay!

I also want to save some of this post for a little thing I have discovered about myself in the past year…I…have…ladyballs! Haha, I think you can probably piece together bits of my other posts and figure out what “ladyballs” are…but, if you haven’t read my other posts, ladyballs are the female equivalent to male balls…meaning I have COURAGE (get it? I have balls!). I have done such a great variety of things in this past year that I never, EVER thought I would do! I must say that I am super proud of myself for having the balls to even half the things I’ve done…don’t worry, it’s not bad stuff! Yeah, I’m becoming the woman I want to be.

This post was all about my accomplishments…sometimes you just gotta take the time to think about everything and appreciate and be proud. It’s actually quite a nice feeling.

I’m able. I’m successful. I’m happy. I’m proud.

I can sing. I can dance. I can look back and smile on my past.

I have ladyballs!

I can’t wait to discover what else I have!!! 😀

Currently listening to my blues dancing playlist…”Rhapsody in Blue” by Duke Ellington, “Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)” by Sly & the Family Stone, “I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl” by Nina Simone, “Gee Baby, Ain’t I Good to You” by Hale Baskin, “You Can Leave Your Hat On” by Michael Grimm, “I’d Like To” by Corinne Bailey Rae…etc.

Problems with studying… =/

It has become quite clear that I probably do have a mild form of ADD

I am still trying to finish up my study guide for my psych midterm Tuesday night (technically tonight, but that sounds weird because I’m still awake)…and I cannot focus whatsoever.

So many thoughts racing through my head…so much to do…so little time…

I keep opening my bedroom door, walking around the hall for a bit, before coming back inside and just breathing and stretching. Maybe this is a form of relaxing myself in order to concentrate…but it’s hardly working.

I also feel like munching will keep me awake…so I keep on eating dry cereal. I’ve had two cups of coffee today…thinking about whether or not I want some black tea (which is a healthier version of coffee, but still has a good dose of caffeine). Hopefully all the caffeine in my system will not overload my system or make me blackout, though I don’t see how it would.

Anyway, the reason why I think I have ADD…this link: http://www.ldpride.net/addsub-types.htm. There is a super descriptive description and I am a fairly accurate representation of the symptoms…loss of focus, shy, difficulty conversing, lateness, sensitive, concrete thinker, determined (but without foreseen success, will decrease effort or quit almost immediately), and afraid of disapproval. However, forgetting what I was saying mid-sentence, excessive talking because of anxiety, not being able to spell words, and not expressing my feelings and emotions are rare occurrences.

Man, it all makes sense now.

Maybe I should get tested…forrealzzz…

Currently listening to “La Del Ruso” by Gotan Project…on repeat. Fabulous song!!!

OCD?

Sooo…I have this tiny, little obsession with starting on the last question of quizzes, tests, and exams and working through the test backwards…

I have no idea why.

I have no idea how this developed.

I just know that it feels good to go backwards because then I’m counting down! And maybe it’s been ingrained in me that the harder questions are almost always on the last page.

I consider it a mild form of OCD because if I don’t do it this way, I feel like I don’t pace myself well enough. Also, I tend to think that I do better on tests if I do it this way.

Another thing I consider a mild form of OCD is washing my hands…I guess it’s more of a germ-a-phobia (there’s probably a term for this somewhere but I’m too lazy to look it up). I must open doors with a sleeved hand or with my foot by kicking it open (hoping that it’s unlocked and able to be kicked). I cannot touch anything off the ground unless I am able to wash my hands or use hand sanitizer shortly afterward. I cannot touch my face unless I wash or somehow sanitize my hands. I cannot eat anything off the ground…that is just a big no-no. It’s taken me a while to actually eat things off of my kitchen table…but it has to be dry food (i.e. cereal, as opposed to fruit). This would probably be more of an OCD characteristic partially because something probably happened a long time ago that traumatized me so much or made me feel guilty…thus, the washing of the hands symbolizes the cleansing of my conscious. Weird, huh?

Currently listening to my study playlist (midterm time!) and the song playing now is “Le moulin” by Yann Tiersen.

Ugh, I hate Valentine’s Day…

It’s just another reason for stores to get money because, “Oh look! That’s something pretty and pink and she’ll like it!”

WRONG!

Sure, it may be cute and romantic and cheesy or whatever…but what she really wants is something from the heart.

Why does Valentine’s Day only happen once a year?! In my opinion, a couple shouldn’t ONLY be romantic on ONE day a year. They should do things for each other every day they’re together. They shouldn’t wait for one special moment…every day should have a special moment. What they have IS special, so why not?

Whoever made Valentine’s Day a once-a-year kind of holiday is completely not getting the picture.

Whoa, maybe this negative view was created by the fact that there hasn’t been one Valentine’s Day where I was dating or in a relationship so I haven’t experienced any of that romantic crap.

I have, however, had some interesting ones though…like the one sophomore year of high school and the one sophomore year of college (last year) where I was the one to make the move toward the guy I liked. I was the one with the balls…hahaha. Oh no, don’t tell me it’s only going to happen every four years…

Well, maybe it’ll change…let’s see what Valentine’s Day brings me this year!

Currently listening to “Bound to You” by Christina Aguilera…I can’t get enough of the Burlesque movie soundtrack!!!!!