Comfort vs. discomfort

Here’s another late night post…

I was thinking about this earlier because I went to an a cappella concert Thursday night and was so in awe at the natural performing abilities of the soloists. They seemingly were perfectly comfortable singing. For some reason, I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that it’s so easy to sing on stage because we’ve rehearsed and practiced everything involved in performing countless times. And yet, it’s still so difficult for me to be comfortable letting go and just being myself while singing my solos. Usually, on the day of the performance, I am so nervous the ENTIRE day. When I set foot on stage, I am still nervous. I should be used to it because I’ve sung many solos before, but nope. The nervousness and jitters haven’t gone away yet.

However, there are other kinds of performing that I am comfortable with…like dancing or playing piano. I can be nervous the entire day and, as soon as I set foot on stage, I am perfectly normal, albeit excited to perform.

Does this say something about my personality? Most definitely. I’ve come to realize that, when I’m doing something that involves speech, I get nervous and stay nervous even after the performance/presentation/conversation. When I’m doing something that doesn’t involve speech, I am more comfortable and able to be myself. I am a way better writer than speaker. It’s just how I am and, hopefully, I will be able to break out of that in the near future.

I know that performing is usually just an act and, although I’ve managed to be fairly good at it when it doesn’t involve speaking, I haven’t figured out how to portray my acting in song just yet.

I’ll get there.

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