Done with finals… appreciating life… finding new music… discovering myself once more…

I can’t believe this quarter is finally over! I’ve been wanting this quarter to end since about Week 8… Yeah, that’s bad but, you know…

However, it makes me sad to know that I won’t be having Musicianship anymore (even though I’m not a music major… haHA!). I talked to my professor (who also is the professor for next quarter) and he told me that I could sit in on classes and labs this next quarter if I wanted to. Yay! I know it must sound strange that I’m so enthusiastic about the class even though I’m not a major, but I feel the class really helped me. Soooo, I had my Musicianship oral final on Monday and I think I did fairly well… considering it one of the classes I should’ve worried less about. I practiced the singing and rhythm handouts a good amount. The singing came easier, of course, because I’m in choir and in an a cappella group where we basically sight-sing every piece of music we learn (then we use the piano later down the road). The rhythms however were another story. The 6/8 was fine, but the 5/8 sucked… I practiced sooooo much, and I still got lost and hesitated and did everything you’re not supposed to do. Hopefully, everything else I’ve done for the class this quarter will keep my grade up!

Anyway, I must admit that I hardly ever payed attention in my Psych and Anthro classes… Horrible, I know. It’s especially bad because I want to switch majors to psych! Haha… well, we’ll see. So, here’s my “bad student” story… I had to write an 8-10 page paper for Anthro and turn it in by 5 PM on Monday. I started the night before (of course!) and finished exactly at 5 PM. I speed walked (because running totally gives me away that I’m a sucky student) all the way across Aldrich Park to the general Social Ecology area… I had hoped that SBSG was somewhere near there. I was right! Yay! I ran up the stairs and got to the room slightly red and breathing heavily. To my surprise, all the boxes with the TA’s names were still outside the room, AND a whole bunch of essay were in them… meaning that 5 PM was a lie!!! Hehe I put my essay under a couple and walked out… realizing after I walked out the door that one of the three people sitting and talking outside the room was a TA for the class… oops. Anyway, I had my Psych final Tuesday at 10:30 AM which was fine. I started the study guide on Saturday night and finished Sunday night and read it once through on Monday night. I believe that was a good amount of “studying” and so went straight into the final with just that. Within the first half hour, I had finished 36/50 questions and began the journey into the depths of my brain to try to answer the other questions. I finished the rest within the next half hour and walked out of BS3 enjoying the sunshine with a smile on my face. There’s nothing better than leaving a classroom feeling good about the exam, the day, the end of finals and the quarter! YES!!!!! =P

An update on my “love” life… Jealousy has hit hard! I don’t want to reveal names or anything, so I’ll just leave it at that. I’ve felt this before and it sucks. I get really b*tchy at times like these and I apologize to my friends who put up with me and to that person whom I don’t actually know. You might be a really cool person and even a sweetheart, but for now… Grrrrr… It’s on.

I’m slightly dozing off right now… but I must keep writing! Okay, so I’m taking a road trip up to my city – the lovely San Francisco – on Saturday with one of my good friends! I’m sooooo excited!!!!! =D I’ve been wanting and waiting to go home for awhile now! I miss my mommy and my brother and my sister! Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh, umm, I was deleting, adding, and rearranging songs in my IPOD’s playlists for that particular trip. I always find it easier to listen to playlists when the song “flow” into each other. Do any of you do that??? Please tell me I’m not weird and that you do it too. I waste A LOT of time doing this… I guess I’m just really OCD about my music. Ohhh and I’ve recently discovered many new artists so I’m very happy about that! They will make their debut among my friend and I on this road trip to SF. Weeeee! =)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my life and where it’s going and stuff like that. I’m unsure whether or not I can delve that deeply into this right now, so I’ll give you a Reader’s Digest version. I find that most of my actions serve a purpose. In the past month, I did something very bold. Something that I didn’t even know I could do. Something that many of my friends never thought I would do. I still can’t believe I did it… but I’m proud of it! I’m very, very proud of myself! I feel stronger in my emotions and more confident in my actions! It’s a fabulous feeling and I suggest that if you plan on feeling like this anytime soon, being bold gets you there. The nervousness and anxiety that preceded my actions are way more insignificant than the relief and wonderment (hehe wonderment) that followed… A couple weeks ago I felt strange and slightly confused about whether or not I had done the right thing. A dream that I had about two weeks cleared that up. In the dream, my aunt was cutting my hair and do you know how I translated that? I figured out that there was something I needed to let go of. There was something holding me back and I needed to rid myself of it or I’d never grow… I’d never reach my full potential if I was still clinging to whatever it was. Looking back on this past year, I cling to my hair. I use it to hide, to cover, to mask… I decided I needed to follow my dream and chop it off. Squeeeee indeed! About a week and a half ago, I cut about five inches off!!!!! Yes, I did it myself and, yes, it looks pretty darn good! This is the third time I’ve ever cut my own hair… first (almost a year ago), I layered it… second (over this past summer), I cut it and layered… third (a week and a half ago), I cut and layered it. It’s quite fun and, although tiring, I save money! Hey hey hey! Haha, yeah, I enjoy it! And if I don’t like it… I can cut more off! It doesn’t matter. Oh, and if you know me and you don’t like it… Don’t look! I love it and my friends love it and I love them for loving it! =P

So, what do I have to let go of? For now, I’m thinking I just need to be myself and let go of my inhibitions. I’m going to ride with that for awhile and see where that takes me.

Okay, off to bed now! Yay! =)


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