Decent vs. Amazing

Do you ever feel amazing? Like you’re totally confident in who you are and what you are becoming? Like you are the best at something?

I wish I could feel this more often. I guess it’s good that I don’t because I’d probably turn into an arrogant person, but I still think it’s okay for everyone to be amazing at one thing.

Here’s my problem… I have so many interests and I like to do many things. I like to sing, dance, write, play piano, take pictures… and the list could go on. Out of all of these, though, I feel like I’m decent at all of them… but not really great at any of them. Over the weekend, I went to a friend’s apartment and another friend started playing piano and singing a song she composed. Then others joined in and played on various other instruments and it sounded good… like performance status good. Honestly, I felt a bit intimidated and musically challenged. I wish I could compose and play piano and sing at the same time and improvise on piano. It was truly amazing to see and I’m so happy that I know amazing musicians so talented enough and involved in their instruments that they are able to create something as beautiful as what I heard. I just have to keep working at it I guess. I just have to invest more time because it doesn’t come to me as easily.

But then again, maybe my problem is managing my time between everything I want to do. Procrastination is horrible and I experience it every day. It sucks. My attention drifts between various activities that I want to do… When I’m doing something boring, my mind wanders to something else I’d like to be doing…

My desires and wishes exceed my real work.

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